If you are worried that you might be experiencing financial abuse or manipulation, you are not alone. Financial abuse is very common, and it happens in 99% of domestic abuse cases. This article will help you identify early signs of financial abuse so that you can make a decision about your personal situation.
什么是财务滥用？
Financial abuse happens when someone uses money or finances to control and manipulate another person. It's a form of domestic violence that can happen in any relationship, even if everything else seems normal. Domestic abuse takes many forms; it is not limited to physical violence or verbal abuse. In fact, physical abuse is often the very last thing to happen in an abusive relationship. Many other things can happen first, including verbal, sexual, or emotional abuse, as well as technology and financial abuse. Because financial abuse is one of the most common types of domestic abuse, it is important to be able to recognize the early signs. Keeping an eye out for the warning signs of financial abuse and addressing them before the relationship progresses can stop the abuse from getting worse or escalating to other forms of abuse like physical violence.
Financial abuse is often disguised by the perpetrator as being protective or loving, so it is important to think about whether your partner’s “love” is limiting your financial freedom. “Love bombing” may be a buzzword on social media, but it is a real red flag for abusive behavior. If you are unsure whether your partner is taking too much control of your finances, here are some common red flags for the very early stages of financial abuse. Red flags include:
- Your partner acting strangely when you bring up finances
- 过度控制金钱
- 妨碍你的事业或工作，或挫伤你的工作积极性
- 要求您在花钱前征得同意，即使是小额消费也不例外
1.当你提到财务问题时，你的伴侣表现得很奇怪
根据不同的关系，这种警告信号可能表现为许多不同的事情。您可以自行决定哪些是不正常的，但它可能包括拒绝谈论金钱、当您提到金钱时变得暴躁或心烦意乱、或对您隐瞒信息等。在一段安全的关系中，伴侣双方应该能够坦诚交流，即使是关于钱的问题。如果您的伴侣在您提起钱的时候表现得很奇怪，或者拒绝与您谈论对您有影响的财务决定，这些都是红旗。
如果您的伴侣表现出以上任何一种行为，请留意事态升级的迹象，其中可能包括以下几点：
- 不与您共享共同金融账户的密码，或在未告知您的情况下更改密码
- 向您隐瞒有关退休或投资账户的信息
- 共用或个人银行账户中的钱款不明丢失
2. Your partner is overly controlling about money
Even if your partner is willing to discuss finances with you, it could still be a sign of financial abuse if they are too controlling or don’t let you have input on financial decisions. If your partner tries to manage your joint finances on their own or micromanages your personal financial decisions, this is also a red flag. Be aware of excuses for this behavior, such as “I just want to take care of you,” or “I’m better than you at managing finances because of my education/job.”
如果您是异性恋关系中的女性，请注意男性伴侣可能会试图用传统的性别角色来为自己控制财务辩护，声称 "男人 "应该掌管金钱，或者告诉您女性不擅长理财。不要让这些借口影响你--你有权了解和控制自己的财务。
3. Your partner gets in the way of your career or job, or discourages you from working
Be wary of your partner interfering with or sabotaging your employment. Being unemployed causes many survivors to become financially dependent on their partner and leaves them without the financial resources to leave when they want to break up. This may be what your partner wants, so that they can more effectively control you in the future. Watch for signs of escalation such as sabotaging educational or work opportunities, or deliberately mishandling child care so you are forced to miss work or stay home.
这种警示信号可能很难发现，因为它往往伪装成善意或同情。例如，每次你抱怨老板时，你的伴侣可能会鼓励你辞职。这看起来可能只是他们在同情你，但如果这种行为经常重复出现或让你感到不舒服，就可能是经济虐待。
Another example is if your partner encourages you to miss work so that you can spend time together or go on vacation. It might seem like they just want to spend time with you, but if it happens so often that your job is at risk, it could be love bombing and intended to make you lose your job.
你的伴侣也可能声称他们想 "照顾你"，供养你，让你待在家里或减少工作。虽然这似乎是一种爱的姿态，但它可能是伤害者消除你的经济独立和安全网的另一种方式，使你容易受到不断升级的虐待。
Abusive partners also often express concern about their partners being alone and “unprotected” at work, saying things like “You’re so beautiful, someone at work is going to steal you away from me,” or “You need to stay near me so I can keep you safe.”
虽然您的伴侣可能会找借口让您待在家里，但如果您想工作，您的伴侣不应该阻止您。
4. Your partner requires you to ask permission before spending money, even for small purchases
你的伴侣可能会找借口说你们应该一起做出财务决定，但这会严重限制你的自由，而这可能正是你的伴侣想要的。
即使您和伴侣共同承担财务，您和伴侣也应该能够在不征求对方同意的情况下进行合理的消费，比如购买日用品或喝杯咖啡。如果您的伴侣在您擅自消费时感到不悦，或者要求您在每次消费前都与他们联系，这就是一个危险信号。例如，一位幸存者告诉 FinAbility，她因为未经许可购买卫生棉条而遭到了伤害者的训斥。
注意事态升级的迹象，比如给你严格的零花钱，或者当你的伴侣可以随意消费时，你却被要求只支付必需品的费用。你的伴侣可能会试图为给你零花钱辩解，说你需要学会做预算或钱很紧张，但这是不对的，而且可能非常危险。例如，另一名幸存者每周得到的零花钱不足以支付她的伙食费。饮食不足和营养不良严重影响了她的工作能力。
需要更多支持吗？
每段关系看起来都不尽相同，通常很难在早期确定您是否正在遭受经济虐待。如果您注意到任何这些迹象或感觉不对劲，请考虑与您信任的人交谈或在网上寻找支持者。请记住，有些人可以帮助您摆脱危险的处境，并为您找到保持安全所需的资源。
.webp){kind=spacer}
.svg)
